Meow – The REST

You never know what’s going to happen when we get tired and jumpy. We were going through pictures of places we’ve been together both alone and with the kids tonight. A fun stroll down memory lane. Some of them we want to crop, some just print, so I emailed them all to my boyfriend, his computer has better software than mine. I typed in the subject line of each email what was included in those pictures. The last email my fingers slipped off a little so instead of more, I typed Meow. So the subject line of more ended up Meow – The REST. We will be laughing about this for a long time!!!!

Hope you chuckle as much as we did over this little joke. Goodnight for now. 

Strolling with Dinner

walkSo, as all good stories start with so, well and I remember it like this. So, tonight we went to my parents house for dinner. A normal weekly event, however, I had other ideas, he did not. We had soup, which was salty (so he was extremely happy), meatloaf which was perfect and his favorite, even though mom was unaware, cucumbers with sour cream, and green bean casserole (also known as a heart attack in a bowl), and oven browned potatoes (the closest thing to healthy on the plate). Yummy right? He was in heaven until I said the word “walk”.

I suggested, since he had agreed to it previously, we start our weekly 3-4 times a week, walk tonight. You would’ve thought I asked for his right lung. I think the first thing he said was “walk where?”! The there was  barrage of excuses as to why walking was bad for you (really? since when?). Finally he agreed, but asked if it could be up and down the driveway one time. My driveway is about 20 feet long.

Finally, after a lot of hemming and hauling, he agreed, begrudgingly to drive around. I said emphatically, NO! And we eventually made it out the door on foot. With plenty of rolled eyes and groans and moans he went along. We walked a total of about 1/2 a mile. My dead grandfather could have done this without a problem, and he was extremely overweight and unhealthy.

Finally we made it through and he could relax (that is after he retrieved my laundry basket from upstairs) I was tired from all the rationalizing as to why it was a good idea. So he said “let me get this straight, I had to take a 10 mile walk and then climb the stairs? My legs already hate me.”

So let’s see how Wednesday goes when I try this again! Wish me luck with my wonderfully health-consciously challenged man!

Cookoo cooktop

My phone has a mind of its own. It’s a fact it changes words on me all the time. Most recently it changed cookoo to cooktop which made my friend laugh hysterically.

Let me give you a few examples of its insanity and personality. It changed cool to cook, my bosses name to simmer. And a clients name to drain. I swear it’s been programmed for cooking and eating.

It makes my coworkers, friends and family wonder often if I’m drunk texting. All because I have a hungry phone. I just don’t get it!

But in the meantime, it is definitely a conversation starter and a million laughs.

A Year Changes Everything

Normally my blogs are light and an attempt at humor. This one is a little bit different.

A year ago, I was hurt and angry because the man I’m in love with down to my soul wasn’t sure what he needed or wanted. Then he wasn’t good at verbally communicating this to me because he didn’t want to hurt me, admit it to himself or lose me. He ended up doing all three but not to a bitter end.

He was trying to save someone else from a difficult situation and ended up saving himself as well. He’s turned into a man I trust, love and want to spend my life with until we no longer can whenever that happens to be.

He struggles because he couldn’t save the other person and it haunts him sometimes. Tonight was one of those nights but he didn’t realize it until I said something. He admitted he feels guilty that he loves me and still is hurting over what happened to her.

The changes that took place in one year are remarkable to say the least. I went from hurt and angry to patient, accepting and in love. He went from confused and dancing to focused and compassionate.

This blog is for him. I want him to know that I not only understand but expect times where he hurts and thinks about the time he spent with her. Also, I trust and love him enough to let him talk about it when it happens.

Most importantly, I know how much he loves me and wants to be with me so I have no worries that he’s the best man I know.

He’s a strong, handsome, caring, and passionate man. I’m lucky we have a second chance to make it work.

Fall Harvesting

The seasons change as does my hair color, family activities and my reading list.

The leaves start falling and I go from a light auburn to a darker auburn to match the colors of the leaves. Weird huh? Want to hear the best part? My boyfriend is the one who helps me color it. It’s hard by yourself to get to the roots and the back, but with help you can do it! This color change is the first of many things (like wardrobe) to change for the season. I love the fact that I can do this without reservations and since I’m a natural redhead (with a little silver thrown in now) it stays red unless I bleach the hell out of it (which burns like a son of a bitch so I avoid that like the black plague).

By now you know we have combined a rather strange arrangement into one large family. My immediate family includes my son who is a working young adult, my parents who are aging and slowing down, my two brothers and their families. One of my brothers is married with two college age kids, the other is divorced with two college age kids and one still in high school. We are a combination of both Irish and Polish heritage, which makes things even more interesting when we all get together and especially when we add cousins and other extended family. I also have aunts and uncles and a great-aunt still around. His family includes his daughters (5 of them), his grand-kids (6 of them for now as they are all pretty young you never know the possibilities), his adopted mom (a lady he has known most of his adults and part of his childhood who he adopted when he needed a mom), a twin brother who is very opposite of him, and a man who has been there for him for a long time (male father type). Interesting combination of things isn’t it?

Once the hair is done, I then move on to family activities. Most of our time is spent with my parents, his mom, his two daughters and his three grand-kids. This weekend we spent it with both families individually for a change. We started Friday night taking two of the grand-kids to Wal-Mart to pick pumpkins to paint. They both chose a small pumpkin, paint, and accessories to encourage their creativity. We ended up with Paint pens (which if you haven’t seen are a gift. They are like pens with paint in them, no mess, no fuss. Love these). Then we got googly eyes that have the sticky stuff already on the back, and glitter in tubes that has glue built-in. It was so much fun to watch them get excited over these things. We took it all home, ate dinner (which means we ate and his grand-daughter kept coming over to me opening her mouth so I could give her some of my food, they had already eaten), then set up to paint some pumpkins. The kids had a blast all three of them (their Pop should have had his own pumpkins for all the “help” he provided them). These pumpkins are what most mothers dream of with a head full of eyes. Then off to bed for everyone for the next day’s adventure.

The next day was my family reunion for my mothers side (the Polish one). We took the two kids with us and they made new friends almost immediately. It was at a park on the water with a playground and plenty of pavilions too. We reserve one each year that has a fireplace because in October you can never tell what the weather is going to bring (and it’s close to the bathroom which is essential for older adults and children). We thought after a while we were safe from the walk to the playground, but no such luck. So I suggested we walk (you would’ve thought I suggested we do a 10 mile run with the reaction I got, but walk we did) as it was only a short distance away. They played and found new friends there too. Then we were swinging his granddaughter (who is 4 and likes to be the princess) and she went straight off the swing into the ground (which made her mad at pop because it was all his fault). A short “hike” back with two tired kids and off they went to play again. The last thing we did was let them get involved in the grab bag of gifts one of my cousins puts together. It was great fun and everyone had a blast. We ended the day with a trip to McDonald’s for them to eat followed by them going back to Mommy. Which was followed by us going home and taking a lengthy nap. We’re old and all you know.

So today I finished the first book of a new series I started. The book is “Fifty Shades of Grey” which is an erotic romance. If you are looking for a book to explain and/or help you understand how a naive woman gets involved in a dominant/submissive relationship, this is the book for you. It’s very explanatory about how that kind of relationship works and goes into great detail about the specific actions of the relationship as well. A great way to start my fall.

What’s next? Another trip to Renfest, Halloween with and without the kids, and who knows. But one thing I know for sure (and he has reluctantly agreed to do) is we are going to start walking for exercise. I need to keep up my energy.

Pain & Agony Ending with Color Abound

Over the last few days, I’ve had the pleasureful experience of an itchy head to the point of painful. After the kids had head lice, I had my head checked by my better half (Note to self: find a non-EMT to do this in the future, they can’t see worth a darn). I ended up finding one on my own by mistake, YUCK! So off I go to find a way to get rid of them. I determine with the help of my boyfriends daughter, the best way to rid yourself (if your female or don’t mind the smell) is to color your hair. And no you can’t go to a salon to get it done professionally, they can’t do this because of health regulations. So off I go and buy hair dye and hope it’s close to what it looks like on the bottle (it never is by the way). And away we go dying my brownish red hair with blonde highlights fire engine red! Not what I wanted, but it has it’s benefits. You can’t miss me coming for one. The lice seem to be gone for now. And by blind better half says he likes it! And by the way, I found the rest of them because my better half’s daughter looked for me and found them and removed them (she see’s things very clearly).

So do I believe the blind EMT or not? Who knows what he really thinks, but I know this much, it’s really red! Which I guess is good because I can dye it brown next and maybe get close to the color I want after all. So what’s the prognosis? Dye it again in two weeks and have my better half’s daughter check it every so often. She has excellent sight, unlike my boyfriend.

So it started out painful and in much agony after scratching and itching for a few days. Then ended up with a very bright fire-engine red hair. Which in the end works out because it matches my personality beautifully! Just try it and you’ll see me go from 0 to 100 in 60 seconds flat. Just ask the blind man he’ll tell you how much grief he got over the phrase, “but I didn’t see anything when I looked.” Hence he is now officially the blind EMT.

The moral of this story? Don’t trust a man in a hurry to check things out over a patient female who understands your agony. Lucky the the blind man, I do love him and will forgive him.

Picture 4

 

Where we are and where do we go from here.

Everyday life can be challenging and exciting. So where are we is finding a way to join our households and families. We are joining with his daughter and grandson as well as our friend and his son into one large household. It’s an exciting and challenging adventure.

Arguments will happen. It’s how you handle them that makes or breaks any relationship. My boyfriend and I talk about it. Some people yell or bury it. So now a hunting we will go for a 5 bedroom home that is convenient for all of us!

And then the fun begins. Buying new stuff, separating responsibilities, and settling in for the ride.

The part I’m ready for the most is being with my love everyday and not going home at the end of the night because we will be home. We are together every day as it stands so it’s definitely the right move.

Wish us luck in our search. We need to find a place we can all live and that can house 5 vehicles as well! Wow what fun this will be to find!

Road trip with a purpose

We are heading back from newark Delaware today after a road trip with a purpose. It all started with a message on Facebook from an old friend I haven’t seen in 3 years and talked to in 2 years. Life sometimes slips away. So the message said I’ve been through a lot the last 2 years I’ve been fighting cancer.

Ok so my response is to go see her. We left Friday night without knowing where we were staying which makes my type A personality jittery. I plan everything and my boyfriend is the most spontaneous person I know.

My oldest & dearest friend lives near the Mason-Dixon Line and boy did we ever get into it back in high school. Now we are both very settled down and enjoying what life brings our way.

So off we drove at 9 o’clock at night to newark. No reservation for the weekend we were “just winging it” as by boyfriend likes to do. I made a reservation 5 minutes before arrival at a Howard Johnson’s. Balance is important! And it worked out better than expected the guy checking us in upgraded us to a suite at no additional cost. That made it better for us too.

The next day was spent at Christiana mall to do something before meeting my friend and her family for dinner. I got some much needed stuff (although my boyfriend disagrees about the need part). Then back to change and see my friend. My anxiety was up a bit not knowing how she would look or if she was any different since the cancer.

We had a great time reminiscing about how we were before responsibility took control. And she looked great! She explained age was cut open and they removed multiple organs. All I could think was I should have been there by her side. Luckily she has a husband who was there to support her through it all.

She is the strongest person I know! She was grocery shopping 6 days after her surgery and off all meds except Tylenol! Wow what a strong woman she is to do that! As teens we ran around like nuts and now look at us!

So where do we go from here? We agree not to make it so long until next time. I love her more than words can say and she has seen me through more than almost anyone. The last thing she said to me was after their vacation she wants to have us & my parents to dinner. And the last thing she said before we drove off? She told my boyfriend to take good care of me. Something that comes easy to him.

My only regret is not being there for her through it all!

A Normal Day

Most people have what they consider a normal day. A normal day is something I don’t think I know very well. My day is filled with excitement and energy from the minute I get to the office. I work in a program that assists people who are homeless and have both substance abuse and mental health concerns. It’s an energetic place to work and very challenging as well. It has it’s rewards and it’s drawbacks, but normal it is not.

My day starts with a meeting reviewing all of our clients. That’s the most normal part of the whole day. We have a team that works with our clients and this team is very strong willed and determined. Both qualities that are needed to work with our clients, but on the other hand, it can be difficult to work as a team when each person is so determined and strong-willed. But I love to watch each person interact with our clients. It’s amazing how each person has their own approach and I learn something from them each day. We also cooperate well when it comes to stepping in when concerns arise or when we feel we aren’t doing enough to help them with their situation. You definitely can say it’s not dull at my job.

Once I finish at my job, I go to one of two places, either my house or my boyfriends house. We both currently live with our families (parents, children and sometimes grandchildren). Living in multi-generational households makes it interesting as well.

 

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My parents generation has strong beliefs based on faith and respect. Additionally, they do not like being in debt and worry a lot about having enough money to make it through. Additionally, they want to help their kids and grand-kids as much as possible. This make a push-pull effect on them every day. They do everything to help and then worry that they don’t have enough money after they have given of their money to assist. Worry warts is their middle name.

My generation is one that is in full debt (usually up to our eyeballs). We worry that our kids are growing up right and that they can stand on their own. We punished them when necessary but showed them love as well. They also received a lot more stuff than we did as kids and spent a lot more time indoors playing. Play dates were arranged instead of just happened. We also concern ourselves that our grand-kids are getting everything they need to be responsible, loving, considerate children and adults. So we step in when we feel it is necessary by pulling our kids to the side and talking to them. Talk therapy is our middle name.

In retrospect, our children, who are now adults, have a different view on life as well. They are not in debt yet, but they live paycheck to paycheck. They are trying to find their way and raise their children their own way. They teach their kids to be responsible and punish them when they feel its necessary. They hate it when we “spoil” our grand-kids, but understand that it’s just the way we are as grandparents. They are still finding their way, finding their lifetime partners, and developing into the adults they are becoming. Transitional is their middle name.

Then what did we do? We put all three of these generations under one house and thought they would get along. What were we thinking?! So what you end up with is challenges and controversy. And people wonder why we take so many mini vacations to get away from it all? We are caught in the middle of all of it.

And on top of that, we are a generation of divorces and multiple relationships. We divorce, remarry, live together, combine families that aren’t blood related and expect it all to be just fine. We are the crazy ones in all this mess.

So in the end, we love, live, and make it all just a normal day.

The Cape Syndrome

I live in a world full of superhero’s. I myself have the superhero syndrome from time to time as well. Together, me and my boyfriend find we put our capes on frequently to solve the world’s (or at least our world’s) problems and issues. We get phone calls regularly from someone in some sort of disaster that needs our attention.

Now you may think it’s great helping other people, and that’s true it can be great. However, when you live with a cape, you find yourself tripping on it frequently. Before we were a couple, we found ourselves falling in traps with our damsels and dames in distress. It’s easy to fall into a “relationship” with them when they are so needy. What you don’t consider before you do this is that they are what we call “bat shyt crazy”. Let me explain further for you.

One of my crazies took me to West Virginia on a trip to see his dying father. Seems reasonable to want someone to go along with you. But instead it ended up being a weekend filled with alcohol and drugs (not me, him) and never stepping foot onto his father’s property much less into his house. We sat at the top of a mountain for at least an hour considering (him) whether or not to go to the house and face him. They had many issues throughout the years. In the end, we ended up in a heated argument about why he needed me on the trip at all when all he was going to do was get drunk and high. The end of my superhero syndrome with him, but not the end entirely.

My current partner has had some similar experiences with this syndrome that ended poorly as well. In one situation, he went to the beach on several occasions with one of his damsels. On one of these events he ended up being asked to leave every bar in the area. He’s not a big drinker by the way. But the damsel was once again bat shyt crazy. And he had his cape in full motion.

So why do I write about this?

Well, as all good stories start, I want to warn other do-gooders of the crazies out there and warn them that damsels and dames in distress are dangerous at best. They turn your world upside down for a bit and then just leave as if its normal behavior.

Make sure you do good for those who deserve and appreciate all that you do. I know that the crazies in my life now are ones who appreciate me and try to improve themselves in the end.