It’s 6 am, I’ve been awake and at the computer since 3 am. That’s 3 hours of something productive, and on Christmas Eve to boot. I’ve been sitting here reviewing my menu for Christmas Dinner and making sure I have everything I need for it. Normally I would be sawing some pretty steady wood like my boyfriend, but too much on my mind to be sure were ready for our first time having family over to our place. So the healthyChristmas just doesn’t seem to be something I can conquer this year. But we have had salad twice this week and that’s more than we’ve had it in the last 3 weeks! Woo Hoo progress! So why am I awake all night long the night before Christmas Eve? There are several reasons that I’ll explain this morning.
The first one, which is so very important to me, is that my son sent me a message at 2:30 am needing a ride. I always leave my phone on when I go to sleep and he has a special tone for both text messages and phone calls. It ensures I will wake up no matter what for him. Tonight I’m very happy I was able to help him when he asked for it. It means the world to me tonight to have him sleeping in my house and knowing I’ll see him for the holidays. That’s the good stuff as they say.
The second is on a more serene note, I go to the cemetery every Christmas Eve to visit my grandparents. Tomorrow is the day and I’m grateful they are so close to where I live that I can get there no matter what the weather, but also it reminds me of how much they miss each year. My grandfather missed a lifetime of joy, sorrow, tears and laughter. He missed watching my son grow from a baby into a young man. And I missed hearing him tell me how much I could accomplish and how great I was at everything. I was his princess and my son would have been king. We were lucky enough to have my grandmother for a long time after my grandfather passed. She watched my son grow and spent a lot of time with him. He was happy just seeing her and spending time with her. I learned a lot from her and we were extremely close. It’s a bittersweet memory for me. I’m thrilled I had so much time, but so very sad she’s no longer here with us.
Lastly, I have my health on my mind. I’m not sick or anything like that, just overweight! As I thought about Christmas and all the baking I did today, I began to wonder was there a way to enjoy these little treats and keep it reasonable without overindulging this year? Maybe, if I hide them (or better yet get someone else to do it). This year I want to keep from feeling sick at the end of the night and eating until I need to lay down and unbutton my pants (you know you have been there – we all have at least once in our lives). Maybe I need to give most of them away, but then what do I serve when I have company? So I went back over my training information from almost a year ago and sat and thought, do I want to do this again or is there something better for me? I not only want to, but feel the need to be healthy. I need to lose weight so going up and down stairs is easier on my knees and ankles. And I have an outstanding goal staring at me saying, “hey, remember me? You haven’t finished me yet! Are you gonna quit or do it already?” That’s my lovely conscience yelling at me for putting it off.
Overall, I think I just couldn’t sleep because the next two days are so filled with family and friends that I am so grateful are in our lives. I’m the happiest in my life now than I have ever been, but still have this one goal kicking at me. I want to run a 5K just to say I finished it. I started training and got busy and stopped, and started and stopped like a gazillion times already. I think it’s time to solicit the big guns now (my boyfriend).
So my hope for this holiday season is simple, I want a white Christmas (like the photo I found at www.alaska-in-pictures.com would be great!) I want my family and friends to be safe and be able to get to us. And I want to keep from overindulging. Then we’ll work on the rest after the holidays are finished and wrapped up in a pretty box with a big red bow.
Have a safe and happy holiday everyone!