Relationships are difficult at best. I have had more than my share of them as an adult. I was married within 6 months of meeting my husband and separated before we hit our one year anniversary. I should have listened to my friends, but I knew it all!
My ex-husband was a control freak and I never saw it coming. I became a meek and mousy person, something most people wouldn’t understand if they met me today. I will tell you that when you live through hell and come back you make a decision to either live life or hide. I chose living!
I bounced for several years through relationship after relationship basing everything on physical connections instead of anything else. It was the best way to protect myself from getting hurt again. I frequently connected with people who were recently out of serious relationships or not out yet. Something I am not proud of today. However, it taught me a lot along the way.
I have had very few serious relationships since my divorce and they each have taught me something about myself.
The first was a man who was very blue-collar. He worked hard and tried his best to give me and my son a good life. I learned that I wanted more out of life than just working and staying home with no real social life. I also realized I didn’t want to give up everything for another person and refused to do that ever again! I ended it with him because we were at a stalemate.
The second was to a man who was recently divorced and looking for something more this time around. He also worked very hard and earned a good income, however, he was a home-body and didn’t like to go out much after we settled. From him I learned my true love of cooking and spending time with my family. I also learned that you can meld two families together successfully in spite of their ages. His job moved him out-of-state and I wasn’t ready to move so we agreed to end our relationship together.
The last, and current, relationship has taught me the most. He is a hard-working man as well (a constant in my life it seems), but he understands the balance between staying home and going out. We enjoy our family and friends both together and separately at times. We are unique in that we were friends first and then we dated, stopped dating, and ended up where we are today. Right now, we are in a committed relationship and looking towards a future together. He is the most unique because our friendship supersedes all else. We both work in careers that help others and can talk about it when we are together. We also have had many common friendships over the last 20+ years, but only met 4 years ago, amazingly enough. He is the love of my life and the one who balances me out at the end of the day.
Today is wonderfully good. But the only reason it can be this way is we have an open communication about things that bother us. If something bugs us, we talk about it. Maybe not right that second, but in a short amount of time. This way we can be sure to have the kind of love to last the rest of our lives, however long that may be.
My wish is that my family and friends all find this in their lives as well.