Pain & Agony Ending with Color Abound

Over the last few days, I’ve had the pleasureful experience of an itchy head to the point of painful. After the kids had head lice, I had my head checked by my better half (Note to self: find a non-EMT to do this in the future, they can’t see worth a darn). I ended up finding one on my own by mistake, YUCK! So off I go to find a way to get rid of them. I determine with the help of my boyfriends daughter, the best way to rid yourself (if your female or don’t mind the smell) is to color your hair. And no you can’t go to a salon to get it done professionally, they can’t do this because of health regulations. So off I go and buy hair dye and hope it’s close to what it looks like on the bottle (it never is by the way). And away we go dying my brownish red hair with blonde highlights fire engine red! Not what I wanted, but it has it’s benefits. You can’t miss me coming for one. The lice seem to be gone for now. And by blind better half says he likes it! And by the way, I found the rest of them because my better half’s daughter looked for me and found them and removed them (she see’s things very clearly).

So do I believe the blind EMT or not? Who knows what he really thinks, but I know this much, it’s really red! Which I guess is good because I can dye it brown next and maybe get close to the color I want after all. So what’s the prognosis? Dye it again in two weeks and have my better half’s daughter check it every so often. She has excellent sight, unlike my boyfriend.

So it started out painful and in much agony after scratching and itching for a few days. Then ended up with a very bright fire-engine red hair. Which in the end works out because it matches my personality beautifully! Just try it and you’ll see me go from 0 to 100 in 60 seconds flat. Just ask the blind man he’ll tell you how much grief he got over the phrase, “but I didn’t see anything when I looked.” Hence he is now officially the blind EMT.

The moral of this story? Don’t trust a man in a hurry to check things out over a patient female who understands your agony. Lucky the the blind man, I do love him and will forgive him.

Picture 4

 

Advertisements

Where we are and where do we go from here.

Everyday life can be challenging and exciting. So where are we is finding a way to join our households and families. We are joining with his daughter and grandson as well as our friend and his son into one large household. It’s an exciting and challenging adventure.

Arguments will happen. It’s how you handle them that makes or breaks any relationship. My boyfriend and I talk about it. Some people yell or bury it. So now a hunting we will go for a 5 bedroom home that is convenient for all of us!

And then the fun begins. Buying new stuff, separating responsibilities, and settling in for the ride.

The part I’m ready for the most is being with my love everyday and not going home at the end of the night because we will be home. We are together every day as it stands so it’s definitely the right move.

Wish us luck in our search. We need to find a place we can all live and that can house 5 vehicles as well! Wow what fun this will be to find!

Road trip with a purpose

We are heading back from newark Delaware today after a road trip with a purpose. It all started with a message on Facebook from an old friend I haven’t seen in 3 years and talked to in 2 years. Life sometimes slips away. So the message said I’ve been through a lot the last 2 years I’ve been fighting cancer.

Ok so my response is to go see her. We left Friday night without knowing where we were staying which makes my type A personality jittery. I plan everything and my boyfriend is the most spontaneous person I know.

My oldest & dearest friend lives near the Mason-Dixon Line and boy did we ever get into it back in high school. Now we are both very settled down and enjoying what life brings our way.

So off we drove at 9 o’clock at night to newark. No reservation for the weekend we were “just winging it” as by boyfriend likes to do. I made a reservation 5 minutes before arrival at a Howard Johnson’s. Balance is important! And it worked out better than expected the guy checking us in upgraded us to a suite at no additional cost. That made it better for us too.

The next day was spent at Christiana mall to do something before meeting my friend and her family for dinner. I got some much needed stuff (although my boyfriend disagrees about the need part). Then back to change and see my friend. My anxiety was up a bit not knowing how she would look or if she was any different since the cancer.

We had a great time reminiscing about how we were before responsibility took control. And she looked great! She explained age was cut open and they removed multiple organs. All I could think was I should have been there by her side. Luckily she has a husband who was there to support her through it all.

She is the strongest person I know! She was grocery shopping 6 days after her surgery and off all meds except Tylenol! Wow what a strong woman she is to do that! As teens we ran around like nuts and now look at us!

So where do we go from here? We agree not to make it so long until next time. I love her more than words can say and she has seen me through more than almost anyone. The last thing she said to me was after their vacation she wants to have us & my parents to dinner. And the last thing she said before we drove off? She told my boyfriend to take good care of me. Something that comes easy to him.

My only regret is not being there for her through it all!

A Normal Day

Most people have what they consider a normal day. A normal day is something I don’t think I know very well. My day is filled with excitement and energy from the minute I get to the office. I work in a program that assists people who are homeless and have both substance abuse and mental health concerns. It’s an energetic place to work and very challenging as well. It has it’s rewards and it’s drawbacks, but normal it is not.

My day starts with a meeting reviewing all of our clients. That’s the most normal part of the whole day. We have a team that works with our clients and this team is very strong willed and determined. Both qualities that are needed to work with our clients, but on the other hand, it can be difficult to work as a team when each person is so determined and strong-willed. But I love to watch each person interact with our clients. It’s amazing how each person has their own approach and I learn something from them each day. We also cooperate well when it comes to stepping in when concerns arise or when we feel we aren’t doing enough to help them with their situation. You definitely can say it’s not dull at my job.

Once I finish at my job, I go to one of two places, either my house or my boyfriends house. We both currently live with our families (parents, children and sometimes grandchildren). Living in multi-generational households makes it interesting as well.

 

P1010691

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My parents generation has strong beliefs based on faith and respect. Additionally, they do not like being in debt and worry a lot about having enough money to make it through. Additionally, they want to help their kids and grand-kids as much as possible. This make a push-pull effect on them every day. They do everything to help and then worry that they don’t have enough money after they have given of their money to assist. Worry warts is their middle name.

My generation is one that is in full debt (usually up to our eyeballs). We worry that our kids are growing up right and that they can stand on their own. We punished them when necessary but showed them love as well. They also received a lot more stuff than we did as kids and spent a lot more time indoors playing. Play dates were arranged instead of just happened. We also concern ourselves that our grand-kids are getting everything they need to be responsible, loving, considerate children and adults. So we step in when we feel it is necessary by pulling our kids to the side and talking to them. Talk therapy is our middle name.

In retrospect, our children, who are now adults, have a different view on life as well. They are not in debt yet, but they live paycheck to paycheck. They are trying to find their way and raise their children their own way. They teach their kids to be responsible and punish them when they feel its necessary. They hate it when we “spoil” our grand-kids, but understand that it’s just the way we are as grandparents. They are still finding their way, finding their lifetime partners, and developing into the adults they are becoming. Transitional is their middle name.

Then what did we do? We put all three of these generations under one house and thought they would get along. What were we thinking?! So what you end up with is challenges and controversy. And people wonder why we take so many mini vacations to get away from it all? We are caught in the middle of all of it.

And on top of that, we are a generation of divorces and multiple relationships. We divorce, remarry, live together, combine families that aren’t blood related and expect it all to be just fine. We are the crazy ones in all this mess.

So in the end, we love, live, and make it all just a normal day.

The Cape Syndrome

I live in a world full of superhero’s. I myself have the superhero syndrome from time to time as well. Together, me and my boyfriend find we put our capes on frequently to solve the world’s (or at least our world’s) problems and issues. We get phone calls regularly from someone in some sort of disaster that needs our attention.

Now you may think it’s great helping other people, and that’s true it can be great. However, when you live with a cape, you find yourself tripping on it frequently. Before we were a couple, we found ourselves falling in traps with our damsels and dames in distress. It’s easy to fall into a “relationship” with them when they are so needy. What you don’t consider before you do this is that they are what we call “bat shyt crazy”. Let me explain further for you.

One of my crazies took me to West Virginia on a trip to see his dying father. Seems reasonable to want someone to go along with you. But instead it ended up being a weekend filled with alcohol and drugs (not me, him) and never stepping foot onto his father’s property much less into his house. We sat at the top of a mountain for at least an hour considering (him) whether or not to go to the house and face him. They had many issues throughout the years. In the end, we ended up in a heated argument about why he needed me on the trip at all when all he was going to do was get drunk and high. The end of my superhero syndrome with him, but not the end entirely.

My current partner has had some similar experiences with this syndrome that ended poorly as well. In one situation, he went to the beach on several occasions with one of his damsels. On one of these events he ended up being asked to leave every bar in the area. He’s not a big drinker by the way. But the damsel was once again bat shyt crazy. And he had his cape in full motion.

So why do I write about this?

Well, as all good stories start, I want to warn other do-gooders of the crazies out there and warn them that damsels and dames in distress are dangerous at best. They turn your world upside down for a bit and then just leave as if its normal behavior.

Make sure you do good for those who deserve and appreciate all that you do. I know that the crazies in my life now are ones who appreciate me and try to improve themselves in the end.

 

A Moving We will Go

A moving we will go, a moving we will go, hi ho the dairy-o a moving we will go.

So 7 weeks to go and the move will be in progress if all goes according to plan. So this is the exciting and nervous part. I’ve got a lifetime of stuff at my house to filter through, trash, sort and pack. An attic full of decorations, collectibles, household items, and just downright junk! That’s a whole lot of crap to go through in a short amount of time.

So how do I get through it all in such a short amount of time? Hmm, I’m definitely a planner, so I need a plan, right? You know it. So a plan it is. I’m starting small, mostly to keep my family centered and calm. I’m going to go through the stuff in my attic section by section and filter out anything I no longer need, want or isn’t in good shape. You know how it is, out of sight, out of mind. I haven’t been up there in quite a while so I have no idea what left up there and what kind of shape it may be in either. So that’s the plan starting this week. It kinda goes like this:

Week 1 – Decorations, Collectibles, kitchen stuff, off-season clothes, etc.

Week 2 – Halloween & Thanksgiving

Week 3 – Christmas

Week 4 – Valentines Day & St. Patrick’s Day

Week 5 – Easter

Week 6 – Summer Holidays (4th of July, Memorial Day, etc)

So I figure as I go through each week, I can pack the things to move and pack the things to go. The things that go, can go right over to donate somewhere. I don’t have the time or patience for doing anything else.

So that leaves time in between to go through the stuff in my room and see what stays and what goes. It also gives me time to talk to my family about the move, something I am avoiding doing thus far. They are gonna to have difficulties with this change. They don’t do change well, but I look at it this way, I’m over 40 and it’s time I do something for myself instead of always doing for my family and avoiding what I want out of life.

And the last part is as I go through everything, I can make a list of all the things we need (in my estimation) for the new apartment. I love that we are taking this step towards a life away from our families, but it’s scary too. There are always adjustments when you move from just spending weekends and evenings together to spending every day together. But these adjustments will be well worth a future together.

The man in my life is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I know his story and he knows mine. We know what we’ve done right in past relationships and what we’ve screwed up royally too. This is the only way to make it work in my estimation.

The last thing is that I’m also a shopper (it’s the one thing I love even when I don’t buy anything). So I get to shop for new furniture (with his input of course) and household things as well. I love this part and I can do it all sitting at my computer to start. Then I can show him all the things I think we need and we can discuss how we get them.

To finalize this shopping planner is anxious and excited about the new turn in my life and I just wanted to share it with the world :)!

The family I choose

Everyone has family they are born into. Your grandparents, aunts, uncles, parents, cousins, brothers and sisters. I’m lucky because I have those as well as the family I choose. The one I choose are my friends who are as close if not closer to me than my family. They know my dark side as well as the lighter side of me. They know what makes me tick and what makes me spin. I have a few of these people in my life. I thought at one time I had more, but came to realize that most people have their own agenda. I have since found that there are only three people in this world who have my back and not their own agenda with it.

One is my best friend and love of my life. To him all I can say is I’m glad we found each other at the right time and place. I’m glad we are building this life together and hope it lasts until we are no longer on this earth. You are the concrete under my feet and the air in my lungs. Everyone should have someone like him in their life, who challenges them when it’s needed and supports them when it’s right.

The second person I found recently. He is a great friend who I can talk to about everything! He also was there when some of the other friendships I thought were so strong fell apart. He was there to explain to me what I was missing in the puzzle. I hope we are friends forever, but I know however long our friendship lasts, it is worth everything. He and I have a good strong friendship where even when we disagree we can stay friends and not let it affect it.

The last person is a special person. She came into my life by the grace of God a few years ago. We met because a co-worker introduced us and she is the reason I am the person I am today. She led me into my current job and is a part of it by spirit every day. She lives out of state now, but I still feel more connected to her than any other person in my life. I miss her every day and she is on my mind at least 5 out of 7 days a week. She is strongest woman I know and her faith is unbending. She is an amazing friend and the most supportive person in the world.

I know how important these people are in my life and just wanted to say to them all – you are the best and the family I choose. You all are in my heart and soul every day and I love you!

Road Tripping

 

 

We have been known a time or two to just drive! You never know what you’ll see and I love to take my camera and just shoot the scenery we find along the way. This picture is one of my favorites from driving to West Virginia and back in one day! It’s great to just get out on the open road and take a back road to just see where it leads you. You find interesting things along the way. Once we drove to Virginia to go to a wine tasting (an excuse for a drive actually) and saw this house with a metal rooster in front of it. So my better half kept referring to it as a chicken even though it was clearly a rooster. We still argue this point today, mostly because it’s funny. He suggested we buy the lawn ornament and place it in front of his mom’s house. A quiet neighborhood that would definitely have caused a ruckus at best. And she would have killed us dead! So you see whenever you need a trip and want to find something new and interesting, the best thing is just to do road tripping and see where it leads you. It’s always lead us to interesting and fun experiences.

 

P1010492

A cup of Coffee

Simple things are best appreciated with a cup of coffee and a discussion. We have this joke in our relationship that says there are conversations and discussions. Conversations are one of us talking to someone and not letting them say anything (also seen as a mother with her finger pointed at you saying you will do this). Discussions are open forums of communication. We try to keep to discussions more than conversations. Our discussions are usually over a cup of coffee, sitting on the porch. Sometimes its just the two of us and sometimes it includes other family members or friends (those that we have taken in as family).

So this weekend was a combination of conversations and discussions. Let me explain myself because I was the one having the conversation this go around. I was highly irritated because things got in the way of a birthday celebration for my friend that was extremely important to me. I blamed him and accused him of stalling on purpose. I later found out it was unintentional, but it was well after my conversation about what was important to me. Look at it this way, take a woman who is coming off her medication and menopausal being mad at you. It’s like stand there while I shoot this gun at you and don’t you dare move!

We eventually got to the discussion part of this adventure. This is the part where we each explain what we felt, thought, and acted upon in the event. Luckily, we both have had times where we didn’t act calmly in a situation and have always come through it by talking about it later. So it starts with pow and ends with ahhh.

I’m one of the lucky ones, I have a relationship where I can have these arguments and then we discuss them later and come to terms with them.

My hope is everyone has some excitement followed by calmness.

My thinking spot

P1000220

Do you have a favorite place you go to find answers to things in your head? Mine is a park and a beach all in one. It’s the most peaceful place on earth and close to home to boot! The picture above is taken from the spot I put my blanket and just look out over the water. I love to sit and think or walk around and shoot pictures. It has everything you could ever imagine. Sandy beach and sandstone rocks. It’s the best place in this world. Where’s your place to find the answers to all the things you need to figure out in this life? Mine’s a park just a short way from home that takes me far away from everything in this busy life!

P1000233